The Decision

Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elemental truth,
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:
that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the Providence moves, too.

– Goethe

The Decision is typically a brief window of opportunity; you will either move on to the Action Stage or drift back into the Contemplation Stage.

Consider Hasselbring’s desire to be a good dad (which he knows means he must stop drinking). His motivation is fluid and changes with local conditions. His core motivation is to be a good dad, but sometimes he wants to get smashed. When focused on his core motivation, he vows he will never drink again, but how influential is that vow when he wants to escape into oblivion? We will find out. Every sacrifice to adhere to his decision enhances his will; alternatively, if he drinks he diminishes the strength of future vows.

Once you appreciate your core motivation, then you can make the decision about what you will do. You are not ready to make your decision until you have considered the sacrifice your decision entails. For example, the decision to quit drinking implies that you sacrifice the option of drinking even during those times when it seems that a drink now would be very beneficial. Remember, once you make a decision there can be no exceptions (even if it seems reasonable at the time). 

Recommendations:

  • A commitment is like a bet, so make small decisions at first—e.g., sobriety sampling: I will try sobriety for one month.  For some problem drinkers this would be a small decision, for others a big one.  Start with a commitment that is small for you, one you are certain you could do if you sacrificed a little.  Only after earning some victories should you move to a large decision.  The goal is to develop willpower by honoring smaller decisions, which will make it easier to handle the larger challenges. 

  • Once you make a decision you must do anything and everything that it takes to adhere to it.  While self-forgiveness for a lapse is an important skill to develop, if is critical that you permit no exceptions because one loss trumps many victories.

  • The decision should pertain to procedures rather than to outcomes;
    • The Implementation Intention format is recommended—when X [high-risk situation], I will respond with Y [coping tactic]. 
    • The target of the procedure should be stated in the positive [I will do Y] rather than as a negative suggestion [I will not do Y].

  • In case the bullet above lulled you into losing sight of what the Decision Stage is about, Understand This:  Once you make a commitment you must adhere to it exactly as stated. You cannot permit a single exception! The crux of a commitment is the implicit no exceptions clause: “I agree to permit no exceptions to the contingencies stated here, regardless of how reasonable a momentary lapse may seem at the time.”

Specify Your Decision

  • In the decision specification form
  • Complete abstinence - Recommended.
  • Controlled usage -

Remember the Decision Stage is brief; you cannot stay here without a decision for too long. At some point you will have to take action. If you are not yet able to complete the preliminary stages, it may help for you to read about the Action Stage. Please return to complentitative tools as often as necessary.


Action Stage > >

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