Coping Tactics

In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities; in the expert’s mind there are few.

– Shunryu Suzuki

The passage from dependence to self-determination is effortful and requires the same dedication as the passage from novice to accomplished musician or athlete. Such transformations require hard work, toleration of discomfort, and the willingness to persevere and do what it takes to achieve the goal.

You can be sure that your future has a wide range of high-risk situations waiting for you. Research shows that the difference between coping success and failure is whether or not the person actually employed a coping tactic during the crisis. While some tactics work better than others, being mindful enough at the critical moment to execute a coping tactic makes all the difference.

This section contains a sampling of tactics to get you started; some will be better matched with your personal characteristics and circumstances than others. Please experiment with them and get into the habit of responding mindfully to warning signals in real-time. Pay special attention to how things play out. If one tactic does not work well, discard it and try another. Strengthen the promising ones with practice.

The D.E.A.D. Tactics

Four classic tactics that put distance between you and the incentive:

  • Delay: Put time between you and the incentive. An excellent delay tactic is the Short-Term Commitment—a commitment to abstinence for a brief period of time. You can only use this tactic if you are willing and able to make a commitment you will not break (see The Impeccable Path ).
    • Example: “Whenever I notice a warning signal, I will commit to remaining clean for the next hour.” (This does not mean that I will lapse at the end of the hour. If I still want to lapse at the end of the hour I’ll delay for another hour).
  • Escape: Put geographical distance between you and the incentive.
    • Example: “Whenever I start thinking about surfing dangerous sites I leave the computer at once.”
  • Avoid:Prevent problems: Avoid people and places associated with the addictive activity. Don’t be taken in by Apparently Irrelevant Decisions that would move you closer to the incentive.
    • Example: “Once I caught myself thinking, ‘I’ll go to happy hour to improve my relationships with coworkers,’ I recognized it as a classic set up for relapse.”
  • Distract:Use the method of Intentional Trance Formation, that is, purposely aim your attention to a thought, image or other stimulus that evokes a more self-serving motivational state.
    • Example: “Whenever I catch myself thinking about sex I will ask myself Will’s Question: ‘What is the best use of my attention right now?" Your mission is nothing less than to transform your motivational state in real-time. You may have to redirect your attention back to the intended target several times and for an extended period of time to produce the intended trance formation.

    Detachment Tactics

    The acceptance of current experience as absolute, real and permanent is part of many addictive traps. Detaching from current experience and observing it from a dispassionate perspective is a key skill to escape these traps.

    • Rate your discomfort or desire on a 10 point subjective scale (Subjective Units of Discomfort/Desire Scale—SUDS): Your experience will change over time. Focus on observing it go through its changes. This can be considered a method of switching from the doing mode to the being mode of observation with acceptance. Noting the strength of your motivation without seeking to change it or act on it is a mindful path to awakening.
    • Use a warning signal to detach from your local trance and remind yourself: “This is the High-risk Situation I have been preparing for; it is critical that I perform as intended now!” Reading the Reminder Card is often a good next step.
    • Journal your passage by recording your observations of internal and external events.
    • Engage in a meditation exercise.
    • Pray.

    An entire section of this course is dedicated to emotion-focused coping tactics, please visit The Stress Management Section.

    Cognitive Tactics

    Our beliefs influence our emotions and behavior. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) has focused on the relationship between beliefs, emotions, and behavior and has become the most successful treatment approach for mood and addictive disorders. CBT seeks transformation by developing the discipline of adhering to the rules of inductive and deductive reasoning and catching thinking errors before they distort subjective reality and create negative emotional states. Please see our List of Pathogenic Beliefs.

    Thinking patterns are pathogenic when they elicit motivational states that are counter to the individual's interests and principles.  They are hard to change because they are so familiar that the individual is barely aware of them when they arise and tends to accept them  without scrutiny. It is important that you are able to recognize the cognitive precursors of relapse; below are some examples:

    • “I’ll just have a few drinks, and I’ll control it this time.” – This is Fortune Telling. The prediction may not be true. An alternative, and more likely prediction, is that this cognition begins the slippery slide to relapse and self-loathing.
    • “I really shouldn’t use” – “Shouldn’t” is moralistic and often elicits reactance and counter-regulatory motivation.
    • “Life is so boring, I deserve a little fun.” – This is emotional reasoning. Life is not boring; the individual thinking the thought is experiencing boredom. In fact, boredom is often the result of avoiding, rather than engaging, the real challenges of life.


    Thought Experiment: Catching thinking errors.
    Take a Meta-Cognitive perspective and monitor your thinking for cognitive errors. When you catch one, identify it and think it through from the perspective of inductive and deductive reasoning.  See if there is a particular pattern to your thinking errors.

    Behavioral Tactics

    In contrast to the covert tactics described above, some reactions to stress and temptation involve overt behavior:

    • Thinking it Through (Using the Decision Matrix during a crisis) – It is likely that you will occasionally encounter local conditions (internal states or external events) that would increase your risk of lapsing. At precisely those moments, your cognitive resources are likely to be compromised. Focusing your attention on the decision matrix during or just before a high-risk situation can help.
      • The purpose of the decision matrix is to elicit a repulsive reaction to the incentive that will be strong enough to compete with its pull. [Note: Research suggests that in the beginning imagery of the negative consequences of relapse tends to be more powerful than imagery of the beneficial aspects of success, and so it is recommended for the early phase of the passage. After you begin receiving some of the payoffs of following your intended path you may change to an approach that focuses on imagery of the benefits of success.]
    • Pull up into Adult – Elicit state change by intentionally changing your posture and demeanor.
      • Example: Change your posture, breathing and mind set in order to elicit a trance formation or an awakening. Specifically, inhale deeply through your nose as you raise your chest and assume an “adult” posture, and then act as if you had a cool, rational, problem solving orientation.
    • Take a Breather– Change your state by eliciting a relaxation response. A good method is to dedicate about 3 minutes to slow belly breathing as you focus on a mantra.  For example, focus your attention on a word or phrase such as, “I’m calmness throughout.” An important function of the mantra is to minimize the opportunity for ruminative self-focus.

    The Management of Cravings

    Craving is the experience of resisting the pull of the incentive. If you used the incentive as soon as you experienced the slightest desire for it, you would not experience much craving. In fact, the only way to experience a craving is to resist an urge. Some theorists view craving as the experience of exerting energy to resist the pull of the incentive, while others view it as the experience of frustration at not getting the incentive. In any event, if you do not give in to them, cravings subside on their own.  Each time you override a craving, the incentive's power to elicit craving in the future diminishes. 

    Subjective experiences such as cravings or urges are not necessarily unpleasant and certainly not as painful as relapse. They may seem to last forever but, in fact, they do not. Each has a finite duration, usually seconds or minutes, rarely hours. According to one client, “Cravings are the experience of addiction leaving the body.”

    There are many possible triggers for cravings and urges, but what keeps them alive is thinking about them. A good defense is to alter your current motivational state intentionally. Some examples:

    • Physical exercise.
    • Meditation exercises – e.g., counting exhales.
    • Self-monitoring the magnitude of desire in terms of SUDS [Subjective Units of Desire Scale]. You may choose to graph or otherwise record the results.
    • Self-hypnosis exercises – e.g., visualization.
    • Solving math or other cognitive problems (while this may sound strange, for some people this is a really good tactic).
    • Getting yourself involved in any idiosyncratic activity that would capture your attention for the duration required to ride out the craving.
    • Social contact either in person or by phone.

The Reminder Card >>

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